Tag-Archive for » anger «

@ My anger is reduced by 70%

Feedback from client who attended  3 of my classes over a period of 2 months. He was feeling angry with his wife for spending lot of time in forcing their daughter aged 6 to eat when she was not inclined.  He did not want to be angry. He also had stress at work. 

Practices
  • Regularly practicing the ‘Segment mode’ at bedtime
  • Practicing the ‘Segment mode’ in the morning only on week ends
Benefits

Anger: Reduced by 70%

Sleep: Before, I was waking up a few times regularly in the night even for small disturbances. Now it happens sometimes.

My goals now
  • Reduce stress (Mostly due to thinking about things to do at work)
  • Better sleep at night
  • Reduce my anger further
  • Reduce weight
My plans
  • Write down list of things to do at work, so I do not keep worrying about them
  • Practice the ‘Wakeing up routine’ (2) regularly
  • Better diet and exercise

(1) Segment mode
(2) Waking up routine 

Related pages
Reducing or eliminating Anger – Success stories
Relief from Stress – Success stories

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@ Meditation enables me to ignore the demands of my ‘Self’ – Alfred

See (1) to know about Alfred. 

Self

“Most often when we use the word self (2) we attach good feelings to it.  Sense of self, self-assured, self-actualization and a host of other “self” ideas all impress us with the importance of self.  However, there is another self within us that is less noble.

Last night I had an early morning dream where a person I love deceived and betrayed me.  After waking I was upset, my mind was clouded with ill will even though my rational mind kept telling me no actual betrayal had occurred.  It was difficult for me to find tranquility in my morning meditation but, finally, I was able to shed these bad feelings.  That was my “self” feeding me bad thoughts (3).  This self is busy all day reminding us of past mistakes, upcoming appointments, relationship difficulties and problems that need to be resolved. This self is a worry wart and has no compunction about stretching the truth or even lying to you if it suits its need.

Meditation has enabled me to ignore the demands of my self for a bit each morning.  And when my “self” is shut down, the peace and clarity which is always there in the background wells up and fills me with love and gratitude. Gone are worry, anger, jealousy, remorse and self-doubt. An added benefit is that, as the day progresses, I am more able to ignore my “self” (4) and to better able to judge the veracity of its often dubious  proclamations.”

(1) Alfred
His previous posts
(2) My related page –‘One living self and infinite dead selves’: I change every day, mentally and physically, to some minute degree. Yesterday’s version of me disappeared, never to be seen again, as good as dead. My only living self is the one pulsing with life, at this very moment. More….
(3) My related page – ‘Thoughts are like ….’: Birds in the sky, Clouds, Trains arriving at a train station, Uninvited guests, Imaginary demons, Delusions, Plants in the garden, Images on the screen, Balloons without air …..More….
(4) My related page – ‘My shopping cart pulls to one side’: Sometimes I pick a shopping cart that pulls to one side. I make periodic adjustments to prevent any mishaps.  I realized that my mind also tends to make biased and wrong judgments. I adjust my mind like I adjust my shopping cart and avoid mishaps. More….

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@ Improved my relationship with my fiance

Report from a client aged 52 who attended three of my classes over 3 weeks.  He picked up the techniques very quickly, practiced in all earnestness and derived remarkable benefits in just 3 weeks. When I see improvement achieved by such people, I get the thought “How many people are suffering from not knowing these simple techniques or similar ones? Should we not teach them in school and college?”. 

His responses to my standard questions are here. 

  • What were the issues which prompted you do the classes?

* Insomnia: I have sleep apnea and using CPAP machine. I had a hard time falling asleep . I was waking up 2- 3 times in the night.

* How to manage stress

* Managing anger (as it affected my relationship with my fiance)

  • What techniques have you learned and practiced and at what times? 

I practiced ‘Counting mode’ primarily, the ‘Segment mode’ or the ‘Tip mode’. I also practice the ‘Staring mode’ when at a red light (1). I find myself being disappointed when the light turns green, as it interrupts my breathing practice (2). I also use the feeling mode (1) sometimes when at work.

I do the ‘waking up routine’ (3)-.

After returning from work, I lie down on the carpet with a yoga mat under just below the knee and complete four hands using the ‘Segment mode’ (1).

I do the going the ‘bed routine’ every night (4).

  • What improvements have you noticed in mind, body and relationships?

My insomnia has improved dramatically. In just the three weeks practicing these techniques, I have only woken up once in the middle of the night and I fall asleep much faster.

I’m much more patient in circumstances where I’m usually impatient such as waiting at a red light.

I feel much more relaxed. Especially after coming home from work and doing the after work routine. I feel incredibly relaxed after that, like all the day’s tension has gone.

It has improved my relationship with my fiance. I’m much calmer in situations where normally I would react in anger or feel tension rising within me. Instead of responding back to her in anger and frustration, I try ways such as telling her that I appreciate her feedback but I get negative feelings when she expresses it to me in that manner. This has worked in preventing the situation from escalating. I try not to feed the fire.

(1) All the modes are in this page “How can I focus on breathing?
(2) Focusing on breathing during driving
(3) Waking up routine
(4) Waiting for sleep

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@ “Thoughts are like dead leaves blowing in the wind” – Alfred’s progress

See (1) to know about Alfred. 

Practices

I had begun to worry about some aches and pains in my neck and hips and so I met with Elisa Cotroneo, a yoga teacher and somatic movement specialist. She was great and gave me some good advice on modifying my morning routine. I have begun to implement these changes and am already feeling an improvement. I have continued to develop the asana which I made up and am finding ever deeper relaxation from its practice.

Regarding your suggestion about extending the sitting meditation
It is interesting because I have begun to do that as a sort of natural progression.  When I find an asana (yoga posture) that makes me particularly tranquil, I will stop counting and continue the pose for some time.  I think these extended time frames are usually only 10-15 minutes now because that is about how long my total meditation time has increased.

Ideas

The Tree Metaphor
When meditating try to experience all those things a tree experiences- the touch of a breeze, sunshine, bird song, roots reaching into the earth, branches to the sky, the weight of being. Avoid all those human overlays such as anger, anticipation, and regret.

Thoughts  vs Ideas
Because we cannot just turn our minds off (and it would be dangerous if we did) I have begun to differentiate between thoughts and ideas as I meditate. My definition of a thought is that it is a fragment of an idea. Thoughts come and go, some good, some bad, like dead leaves blowing in the wind. An idea is a whole thing. It can stand alone like a large smooth rock on the ground. It can be looked at from different sides. The glue that holds an idea together is intuition. Here is an example of an idea – that the tranquility experienced from meditation is a baseline. To achieve tranquility is simply opening a door to a new space. The exploration of that space is what counts. When I meditate I concentrate on that idea (as well as my breath, my body sensations and my state of mindfulness). Keeping that idea in focus allows me to ward off distracting thoughts and achieve tranquility more efficiently.

Results
  • I took a long and stressful (busy traffic and bad weather) car trip helping my son move into a new apartment in Brooklyn. The rented van had extremely uncomfortable seats and we drove for over 7 hours. I used body awareness techniques I have learned from my asanas and ended the trip with no residual body stiffness.
  • I find myself striking up conversations with strangers or people who I hardly know more often.
  • Also, I think I am listening to other people better.

(1) Alfred

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Related posts: Alfred’s progress

@ Seminar at the Bethlehem Central Middle School

I offered the first seminar at this school library on May 15, 2013. It was organized by the Bethlehem Healthy Kids Committee. Anna McMahon, a member of this committee and great supporter of this technique was instrumental in setting this up. Seven women, two men and two girls attended. I distributed select handouts from my website to the adults and children. (1) 

 Adults – Feedback

Scanned images of the feedback forms

I came to know about this seminar from

  • Anna McMahon – 2 responses
  • Healthy Kids Committee – 2
  • Husband/ Healthy Kids Committee
  • Posters at the school
  • Times Union – Bethlehem Blog
  • Healthy Kids Committee Face book post

The seminar was …

  • Very useful –  8
  • Useful – 1

I will use this technique to relieve my (concern)

  • Sleep, Stress
  • Sleep and Relaxation
  • Sleep, Stress
  • Stress at work and Insomnia
  • Stress reduction
  • Stress, Anger and Relaxation
  • Headaches, Anxiety, Stress I have with my family
  • Anxiety, Panic
  • Self and Wife

Comments/ Suggestions (if any)

  • I want to practice this and feel better.
  • Wonderful. Very excited to start working on this and looking at your website!
  • Great Presentation.
  • Very practical and user friendly. I look forward to practicing it.
  • I am really looking forward to trying this with stress and sleep.
  • Very helpful. I feel very relaxed after practicing this technique.
  • I had been feeling tense all day, but now I am feeling more relaxed.
  • Helpful. I have used other counting breaths methods but this simplifies the process so the focus is not so much on counting that you forget to breathe and just enough focus on counting and breathing to keep your mind from wandering.
  • Very practical. Great tips and modifications.
 Children – Feedback

Scanned images of the feedback forms

I am in ….

  • Grade 5
  • Grade 4
When I practiced the breathing I felt …
  • Happy, at peace and slightly sleepy
  • Calm and sleepy
I want to try this technique when I….
  • Can’t go to sleep
  • Am stressed at school
I think this practice will help me for ….
  • Sleeping and keeping my cool
  • Going to sleep

(1) Documents for download

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Parent page: Past seminars

* Improved on weight, blood pressure, moods, and neck & back pains

Feedback from a client, a patient of my daughter Padma Sripda MD (6), who has done 12 classes over the last one year and eight months. She gained weight (from almost underweight to a healthier BMI), lowered her persistently high BP  and gradually lowering her anti-anxiety medication per her doctor’s advice and made more improvements.

Breathing: I practice the breathing exercises while driving, walking and at work. I mostly do the ‘Counting mode’ but when driving I do the ‘Tip mode’. (4)

Hypertension: Last week I had a really great blood pressure reading 126/86. This is one of the lowest I have had. (3)

Diet changes: I have been having breakfast every morning and a better lunch and dinner. I am working to cut out sugar. Instead of soda I have been drinking juices and water. I gained 25 lbs from these changes. I added a multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Vitamin C in the powder form and the milled flax seed which I put in smoothies or a salad every day.  That was a lot of work to change my eating habits but well worth it.(1)

Sleep: I have been waking up fresher in the mornings but still getting great sleep.

Moods: I find that my moods are more even. I don’t have as much anger or depression. I feel things are easier to deal with (5).

Anxiety medication: I have been cutting down on the anxiety medication very slowly but I think I have made great progress. I used to take 2 a day. I am now down to 1.25 to 1.5. I think I feel better now cutting back on this medication.

Chronic neck and back pains: My neck pain has greatly improved from the stretching as well as my back. I can’t remember the last time I needed pain medication for these problems. (2)

I am going to continue to practice all the above items. I would like to start hiking and maybe working out a little in the gyms at the hotels I stay at.

(1) She was very lean for her height with a BMI of 21 (normal range is 19 to 24), her cheeks were shrunk and her face was looking sick . She was working out of  town and on her feet for hours. She was not eating any breakfast and hated to have any. It required lot of persuasion over many classes, for her to change her long established habit.  She neither had any good lunch. She was feeling fatigued and low in moods by afternoon. After the diet changes, her weight has improved and she is feeling much better overall.
(2) She had chronic neck and back pains and taking pain medications and sometimes even shots for acute neck pain.  Her back pain dramatically improved after practicing the “Focusing on breathing’ modes (4) and the waking up routine.
(3) She had persistently high BP (Hypertension) for at least 6 years. During the visits to her doctor, the systolic ranged from 136 to 219 and the diastolic ranged from 94 to 129.
(4) Different modes of ‘Focusing on breathing’
(5) For many months from the time she attended the classes, she was bitterly complaining about her employer’s treatment of her – not paying fair wages, not appreciating her high quality work etc. In last six months she did not say one thing on this issue.
(6) Padma Sripada

Related pages
Her previous feedback
Relief from Hypertension – Success stories
High Blood pressure and Heart disease – Books I like

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* “My family can’t believe the change”

Feedback from a woman who attended two of my classes over 3 weeks. She is a retired hair dresser referred by Teri Hutson-Mulligan, a diabetes educator at Albany Medical Center to help her improve her breathing. Her problems: Insomnia, hypertension, bottled up anger, obesity and diabetes.

“I really believe the whole learning to breathe idea has helped me to take time for myself. My family can’t believe the change in my attitude about everything and I owe it to you CS.”

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* Reduced my anger, road rage ….

Received this feedback from a NY state employee who has a busy and stressful customer service job. He attended a few of my classes in May 2010.

My practices (See ref (1) for the different modes of ‘focusing on breathing’)
I practice the ‘Tip mode’ or ‘Segment mode’ to get sleep while in the bed and when I wake up during the night or in the morning and need to fall back asleep.

I practice the ‘Counting mode’ while driving or walking during the day.

I practice the ‘911 mode’ when I recognize I am getting stressed, frustrated, worked up or pent up with anger or frustration.

The benefits  I gained
These practices have improved my self control and reduced my anger. They have increased my tolerance for things out of my control. They have improved my health. I can feel the difference. I don’t have anxiety or chest pains or tightening, like I had before or nearly as frequently as before.  They have reduced my road rage. There is improvement in how I react with or accept other drivers. I have improved my tolerance and anger for mistakes and towards the “general public”. They have helped me in my job and career. I think before I react which has helped me deal with “difficult customers”.

I just have to work on making it more of a routine so that I don’t have to think about it. I don’t do it as much as I should or need to!!

I really like your Rope/Snake story (2) that you told me in the class. I just found that on the website.

I can’t thank you enough. You have helped me tremendously.

(1) How can I do it?
(2) Is it a snake or a rope?
Reducing or eliminating anger – Success stories

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