Tag-Archive for » anger «

‘Beginners’ Feedback 2/6/18

Three people attended. One of them was a 15 year old teen who came along with her mom. A set of my handouts was given to each participant (1). A summary of their feedback is posted below.

I will use this technique for my

– Stress, Anger
– Trouble sleeping, Anxiety, Relationship stress

Today’s ‘Take home’ ideas

– Counting breaths
– Can be done with eyes opened, Do it routinely
– Counting my breaths! Love the segment mode

Overall evaluation of the session

– Very useful  2
– Useful  1

Suggestions for the future

– Keep food nearby (a lollipop was offered)
– If possible, weekly classs

Books on meditation taken with deposit

– Finding the quiet
– Transformation and healing

Total love donations offered – $40

(1) Documents for download

If you like this page share it with your friends.

+ From a ‘Human Doing’ to a ‘Human Being’

This is the story of an anguished Mom whom I mentored over 4 months to help her reestablish the broken connection with her teenage daughter who was engulfed in frequent cycles of intense, and nearly debilitating emotional suffering at a very crucial time in her life (1). After aggressively trying so many other ways, which were proven ineffective in resolving her various family problems, up against a brick wall, her desperation lead her to be open to modalities of healing from any source. She trusted me enough to try out a multipronged approach of healing. Whatever I suggested and when found useful, she made it a part of her practice. She was a voracious reader and tried to evolve herself in spite of the prolonged traumatic life experiences. She was so primed and ready to leap to a higher level that with a little spark, understanding, emotional support and a few directional arrows she could come out of the mental hell she was in. On my request, she described her journey during which she used many resources. Her writing talent shows up. I am yet to see another client of her nature. I hope this description inspires others. I added the numbers in brackets and linked notes with related information.

One remarkable feature of this case is that though the daughter was supposed to be the dysfunctional one to be fixed, I never got to even see her or talk to her. I worked only with the mom and when she changed, the daughter’s behavior changed! This proves the saying “When I change the World changes.”

Here is her story.

” Before My Journey Started
My mind was constantly busy. I could not shut off my mind. I was never at peace even when I was sleeping. Waking up first thing in the morning, my mind was already at full speed, while still laying in bed. Many useless thoughts, negative thoughts, constantly analyzing the same things over and over again. At times it felt like there were loud screaming monkeys in my head. Pema Chodron uses the term “gibbering monkey” (2) . Eckhart Tolle uses the term “incessant thoughts”. Anger, despair, frustration, impatience dominated the state of my mind and emotion (3). The most frightening part was that I wasn’t fully conscious of my reactive emotions.

It all started with a typical story of a single parent trying to do the “right” thing, to launch their college bound child to the future. I thought I followed suggestions from teachers and guidance counselors. I thought I was doing the same things most other parents do. In the midst of teen dating, teen anxiety and depression, full time job, a household to run, and another younger child to take care of, things didn’t go well. Parental encouragements were perceived by my children as pressure. College application process did not progress all through Summer and Fall. Family dinner became a rare occasion, a life situation worse than marriage dissolution. I was on the verge of losing my relationship with my child. Coming home from work at times felt dreadful. If only one could go to an electronic store and purchase a remote control that could turn the mind on and off!

Then CS Came Into My Life
A friend referred me to the man who teaches people how to count breaths, CS (short for Suryanarayana Chennapragada) (4). I had nothing to lose by spending one session with him. On the other hand, what can you expect out of a guy who teaches you how to count breaths? (5). The first lesson I learned from him: “HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS”. After learning my background and evaluating my disposition, CS suspected that all of us, my kids and I, suffered from some sort of trauma. There are a few methods of therapy for trauma using talk therapy but they take too many years. Our experience of talk therapy for my children post divorce with 4 other previous therapists only took care of some of the symptoms but never got to the root cause of the problems, something I kept asking these therapists. None of them gave me clear answers. None recommended me to get help with therapy for myself. None even mentioned the word trauma at all! CS was the first person who mentioned the word trauma and strongly recommend that I build some solid emotional foundation for myself. That was a prerequisite to enable me to effectively help and support my children’s effort to become emotionally and psychologically healthy and strong.

EMDR
I took up his suggestion in pursuing EMDR therapy based on his reading and understanding of EMDR (6). I went on and sought help in this therapy about which I never heard of, administered by an EMDRIA certified therapist, as quickly as I could. Well, finding one locally in Albany who would take insurance, has availability for the proper age, pronto, was impossible. It sometimes takes a few trials and errors to find a therapist with matching chemistry, the right fit. I finally found a therapist for myself on self pay. With her exceptional and amazing psychotherapy skills, she administered the first EMDR session on me after 3 evaluation and preparatory visits. The EMDR therapy helped me jump start rewiring my brain in forming a new habit of processing life situations and regulating my emotions. It’s all scientific. It’s biology, yet it feels like a miracle. Based on my experience, I think EMDR is a catalyst. There are many schools of thoughts among certified EMDRIA therapists. With insights into this field, CS helped me evaluate and assess the quality of the therapy throughout the entire process, a very important factor in our healing efforts due to the amount of time and cost commitment.

As miraculous as it sounds, EMDR is not a silver bullet. It does help dig up and dissolve thick layers of unrealized, painful  memories lodged improperly in our brain. But life goes on filled with events, situations, moments that need to be dealt with, many can be quite unpleasant. At this point in my life, parenting is the most challenging endeavor I have to take on. I spent the majority of my life fighting for good education, good career, relationship, marriage, and child rearing to prove my self worth. Though it did bring many good fortune to our lives, it wasn’t for free. I suddenly realized the long term cost of the good fortune: lack of inner peace and serenity in everyone in my family. Since the birth of my first child, I’ve always identified myself as a Mom. Well, a roaring machine would’ve been a more accurate description of my old self.

The Beauty of ‘Meditation on Breathing’
We apply the practice of physical care to our daily lives for better mental hygiene and stronger immunity. When we are sick, we go to the doctor to get help to get better. Our mental wellness needs the same amount of care. Dalai Lama uses the term mental immunity. Daily practice is the keyword. My daily practice of breathing meditation turned out to be one way I nurture my mental hygiene. The beauty of the breathing meditation that I learned and practiced is that you don’t have to dedicate a huge block of time which is the stumbling block for most aspirants like me. There is no pressure on my schedule, and I don’t feel like I ever miss a day of meditation. I can do it throughout the day (7). Some days I can only afford 10 minutes before bedtime. I started forming a habit of snagging the few seconds or minutes of focusing on breathing while walking, while driving, warming up my lunch in the microwave, etc. CS cleared out so many misconceptions around the meditation practice that brought me back to his page “Who said Meditation is difficult? (8). To sum it up: no pretzel legs required, don’t strive for anything, drop the word “should”, no formality, all casual.

Getting It Off My Chest by Writing
James Pennebaker discovered the connection between expressive writing and wellness (9). I discovered that expressive writing, as encouraged by CS, had been a useful tool in helping me navigate through my emotion and help me gain clarity on the true reality of my experiences. Writing letters to my children to address some critical issues is a powerful and effective tool I used to connect and reach out to them at a much deeper level. Writing emails or texting with CS about updates of the healing work we did apparently was also therapeutic. It gives me a sense of cleansing work. Ideas keep pouring out as I type. Of course not everything I typed made it out of my mobile device, so for those who don’t find it easy to open up about their personal and emotional struggles to others, expressive writing is worth trying. Yes, the books recommend that you use paper and pen, but for so many reasons, those prerequisites would just give me another excuse for why I won’t feel like doing it. Improvise, make it easy. We are all busy.

Audio Books
I started reading a few self-help books a few years ago. Having a coach like CS adds another dimension and depth into my understanding and ability to apply the concepts I learn from these books. No, I do not have time to sit down and enjoy good readings. Thank goodness for modern technology and CS’s persistent encouragement, I’m hooked on audiobooks now. I look forward to driving nowadays as I use the precious time alone for listening to audiobooks and focusing on breathing. Today, I have more than 15 audio books in my library (10). It is amazing how thirsty my mind is for good life lessons on nurturing and healing our emotional pain and suffering.

Parenting Skills
For the first time in my life, I have someone teaching me parenting skills. A luxury I never thought of even wishing to have since both my parents were deceased before my first child turned three. CS stayed by my side through frequent dialog via phone calls, text, and emails, as I could not find time for counseling visits. A fundamental lesson I learned is to understand the true meaning and the misconceptions around the term unconditional love and boundaries. Applying all of these with compassion makes a difference in supporting my children’s struggles and efforts to navigate through many aspects of their life challenges. Raising successful individuals which could generate lots of stress and anxiety is no longer my goal of parenting. Helping my children with increased awareness to develop into wholesome individuals is the new goal.

Spirituality
Many of us are skeptics when it comes to the notion of spirituality. We associate it with the metaphysics world, or even religion. Those of us who were raised in Western education environments cling to the idea of scientific proof. Well, there have been an explosion of scientific research activities all over the world on the neuroscience of breathing meditation; which I could have cared less about, except that the result of my own practice proved some of the theories drawn as conclusions from this research. In the very short period of time, I have had exposures to the fields of neuropsychology, quantum physics, the science of meditation, and the anatomy of human mind and emotions. I found newer and deeper meanings in the words compassion, hope, love, and many others.

The Transformation
Fast forward 4 months. some of my friends, and  my own children noticed the change in me. Calmer, happier, more mellow, are the words I heard which were used to describe the ‘New me’. One used the word light and floating. CS described me as a ‘tigress’ on the first day he saw me. “You can’t change others, but you can change how you respond to others” was one of the first lessons I learned from him. There is a good chance that others will change in response to your changes. Sure enough my children are changing with me.

The journey has just begun. Glimpses of inner peace and serenity started appearing more and more throughout my days. The thick, heavy blanket of toxic emotion has started to lift off, little by little. “Light”, as in ‘”not heavy”, is the closest word I can think of to describe how I feel nowadays. Sure, frustration and disappointments are inevitable but I can now stop the emotional flow from turning into anger. The need to seek help from my therapist on a weekly basis starts to wind down. I am becoming more and more capable of dealing with challenges in my life with grace.

Today, my children and I are travelling together on the path of recovery to healthier relationships through collective awareness. I realize that this is a life long learning process. Having a person with such positive vibes who models compassion alongside of me makes learning so much more effective and fun!

CS may not give you the straight answers to every life problem you face. However, I receive many pointers as listed above, as well as suggestions on readings about and using essential oils. One time I unintentionally called him GPS!  He stated the teachers are literally everywhere. All around us, at any given moment, ready for us to learn our life lessons. Some attribute this quote to the Buddha: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”.

Are You Ready?

Mom V2.0 ”


(1) The daughter was an accomplished teenager with high achievements in academic, sports, music, and art. With more than a decade of dysfunctional family condition riddled with hostility and violence that ended up in her parents divorce, she developed into an unhappy adolescent full of anxiety, depression, and phobias. The habit of coping mechanism through emotional shutdown cause her to fail to see and appreciate acts of love and kindness. She trusted no one in her life, and animosity toward everyone in the family was very strong.
(2) Pema Chodron
(3) Eckhartt Tolle
(4) Programs
(5) Focusing on breathing
(6) EMDR
(7) Daytime practice
(8) Who said Meditation is difficult?
(9) James Pennebaker
(10) My List of Inspiring Authors and Books

Eckhart Tolle: The Power of Now
Brene Brown: Rising Strong, Daring Greatly
Pema Chodron: Making Friends with Your Mind, Coming Closer to Ourselves, The Pema Chodron Audio Collection
Marianne Williamson: A Return to Love
Don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements
Douglas Carlton Abrams, Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu: The Book of JOY
Mark Manson: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Kerry Paterson: Crucial Conversations
Mark Goulston: Just Listen, Talking to Crazy
Michael A. Singer: The Untethered Soul
Susan Forward: Toxic Parents
Harriet Lerner: The Dance of Anger
Francine Shapiro: Getting Past Your Past, EMDR
Wayne Dyer: The Wayne Dyer Audio Collection
Paulo Coelho: The Alchemist
Julie Lythcott-Haims: How to Raise an Adult
Cynthia Kane: How to Communicate Like a Buddhist
Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish: How to Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk

If you like this page share it with your friends.

+ Kavita Pandit’s secrets for managing stressful emotions

Kavita Pandit’s wonderful guest blog describing her two simple secrets for managing stressful emotions is presented here (1). I received this through her husband Hunaid Qadir who practices ‘Meditation on Breathing’.  Published with her permission. 

1. Re-grounding after experiencing an intense emotional reaction

We all occasionally face situations that cause us to experience intense anger, frustration, fear, or even humiliation. These situations can often be debilitating — everything else flees the mind and one becomes fixated on the issue causing this intense reaction. At such times I find it useful to temporarily separate myself mentally from my physical reactions. I do this by taking a survey or stock of my body. I observe my heightened heart palpitations, the flushing of my face, and heavier breathing. I may note that my fists are clenched or that I have stopped noticing what is going on around me. The very act of taking stock like this helps get me back to my previous mental state, and the disruption caused by the emotional reaction passes in minutes rather than hours.

2. Observing the world through a child’s eyes

How often has this happened to you? You go out for a walk on a pleasant day but your mind is so caught up in the events of the past or the future that you return from the walk and don’t remember anything about it. Your body has had the experience of the walk but your mind was somewhere else! Yet have you ever observed children playing outdoors? They are completely in the moment and their senses are fully attuned to even minute details of their surroundings. So now when I go out for a walk and my mind tries to drift I bring it back by asking “what would a child observe on this walk”? And amazingly I see the caterpillar on the ground, the bird’s nest, a flashy car driving by, or the lights coming on in the skyscrapers in the distance. No matter how trivial the observation it brings one into the magical moment!

(1) Kavita Pandit

If you like this page share it with your friends. 

 

+ Emotional abuse by mother relieved

Kaitlin (name changed) aged around 60, a single software Engineer, attended 6 of my classes. She was emotionally abused by her mom for more than 47 years. And it continued even when her mother was 80+ and dependent on her help for daily living. Kaitlin attended therapy but it did not help her get over this root cause of her stress. The following changes were reported by her during the classes. 

Before the classes 
  • Emotionally abused by mom ever since she turned 13. Mom used to fill her plate with food and force her to empty it. When she emptied it, she would fill it again. She gained weight. Then mom taunted her for being fat. She was always criticizing and controlling.
  • Mother’s taunts: She agitatedly spoke about her distress from her mother’s taunting words. She did not know how to handle her.
  • Insomnia: Not able to sleep without TV. Leaving TV on, reading, difficulty falling asleep, waking up 2 to 3 times, Not able to get back to sleep.
  • Anxiety in the morning about the work.
  • Eating unhealthy
  • Diabetic – 10 years
  • Stress at work – Losing patience.
  • Anger
  • Obesity
  • Stress about job relocation.
  • Diet: Comfort foods like candies,cookies, overeating throughout the day.
  • No physical exercise.
  • Brother’s behavior was a big source of stress. Felt helpless against his cheating and irresponsible behavior.
Her ‘Focusing on breathing’ Practices and more 
  • Tip mode (1)
  • Segment mode (1)
  • Counting mode (1)
  • Waking up (2)
  • Driving (3)
  • I repeatedly introduced the concepts of my articles on ‘Relationships’ and discussed them during the classes to help her internalize them and use them in her interactions with her mother (4).
Now
  • Mother’s abusive behavior: From the fourth class onwards, she did not speak a word about her mom. Instead she started focusing on her own goals like her obesity, stress at work etc.
  • Episodes of anger at work less by 70%. “If someone upsets me I let it pass. Only one episode in the last 3 weeks. Anger less by 70%.”
  • Anxiety about relocation of job is less by 70%. “I put things  out of my mind.”
  • Focus – Better
  • Patience – better
  • More relaxed
  • Overeating at night.
  • Not procrastinating.
  • Confidence improved. 
  • Assertiveness improved.
  • In general more active.
  • Accomplishing more.
  • Overeating in general: Less by 20%. Cut down on cookies and candies.
  • Practicing Yoga nidra.
  • Exercise: Started again after one year, on weekends. Stationary bike 20 min, walking 10 min.
  • Less body stiffness.
  • Doing ‘Albany peace project’ meditation at night.

(1) How can I ‘Focusing on breathing’
(2) Waking up ‘focusing on breathing’
(3) ‘Focusing on breathing’ during driving
(4) My articles – Relationship related

If you like this page share it with your friends.

Seminar – Venture Inward

I offered the second seminar at ‘Venture Inward’ (2) on June 18, 2014 from 7 to 8.30 pm. This was set up by Margaret Kaufman owner of this business and a Hypnotherapist. Attended by total 5 adults, 4 female and 1 male. A set of my key handouts (1) was distributed to every participant. 

Scanned images of the feedback forms (without names)

Summary of the Feedback

I knew about this seminar from 

  • E-mail from ‘Venture Inward’ – 4
  • My mother. The sticker “Focusing on breathing’ was on her fridge. (Her mom attended my previous seminar and collected the sticker at the end of the class.)

My expectation from the seminar is fulfilled to level 

  • A+: 4
  • A: 1

I will use this technique for my (concern) 

  • Anger/ Frustration – 1
  • Stress, Panic, Parkinsons
  • Worrying, excessive thinking, stressful situations, everyday
  • Focus, Relax, High blood pressure
  • Help with focus for meditation

My take home from this seminar

  • How easy it is to share with my clients, family and friends! I will use it during my stressful meetings as well.
  • Valuable info.
  • I became very relaxed. This contradicts the saying “If it seems to be too good to be true, it usually is.”. Great class.
  • Wonderful portable relaxation technique to help detach from daily stresses. Great suggestions as how to incorporate into daily life easily and how to make it a daily practice.
  • I can control the situations with the breathing techniques.

I recommend this technique to other groups (name the group)

  • Senior citizens – Albany senior citizens & Colonie senior centers
  • School for special Ed classes

(1) Documents for download – for all the handouts
(2) ‘Venture Inward’ at 568 Columbia Turnpike East Greenbush NY 12061

Related pages
Public Seminars

If you like this page share it with your friends.  

* Seminar at East Greenbush Library

I offered the 11th seminar at East Greenbush Community Library (1) on April 16, 2014 from 7 to 8.30 pm. Attended by total 14 adults, 12 female and 2 male. A set of my key handouts (2) was distributed to every participant.

Scanned images of Feedback forms

Summary of the Feedback

I knew about this seminar from 

  • Library newsletter – 4
  • Library website – 2
  • Sign in the library – 2
  • Friend – 2
  • My sister
  • Dr. Padma Sripada’s office
  • Prior seminar by same speaker years ago at Curves (East Greenbush – which has closed a couple of years back)

My expectation from the seminar is fulfilled to Grade …

  • A+    8
  • A       3
  • B+     1
  • No comment

I will use this technique for my (concern) 

  • Better sleep, Relaxation, Health, Reduce stress
  • Sleep – 2
  • Helping me sleep better
  • Stress, Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Stress release, Improve anger
  • Stress, Grief, Pain, Insomnia, Worry and Relaxation
  • Anxiety, Worry and Stress
  • Anxiety
  • To quiet my mind
  • To concentrate
  • Relaxation

My ‘Take home’ from the seminar ….

  • Practice and stick with it
  • How to sleep faster
  • Calmness, Acceptance
  • I really enjoyed the class, I hope this will help turn off my monkey mind when I try to sleep!
  • Very important breathing technique that I didn’t know
  • “Practice”
  • Breathe
  • Hope for less stress and anxiety, peace and serenity in our lives (husband and myself)
  • I am making a commitment to do this in the morning and night
  • Take time to practice the technique
  • I hope these techniques will help me sleep better
  • Live in the present, not in the past or future
  • Easy technique that I will try on obesity. Hope it works.

I recommend this seminar to (name the group)

  • Sister
  • Teen groups
  • Anyone young or old
  • You should teach this in every school
  • To my friends and family
  • My sisters

(1) East Greenbush Community Library
(2) Documents for download – All handouts

If you like this page share it with your friends.

Related pages
Public Seminars

* I am building a ‘New Me’!

Feedback from a client who achieved life changing benefits by practicing the ‘Focusing on breathing’ (8) initially on his own from my handouts and then attended 10 of my classes so far over last 6 months (3) . His previous reports are at (9).

“As someone who has fought the proverbial battle of the bulge most of his life, I know how hard it can be to make life changes. I have been through the crash diets, to doctors and so on with varying degrees of success. However the weight would always come back. I had pretty much given up.

Then one day, I picked up a handout on breathing mostly because it said it could help with my insomnia (1). To my surprise, it did help a lot and with more then just my lack of sleep (2).

Eventually, I was convinced to try taking the classes. Through the classes I have been keeping a food diary and trying new changes in my diet (4). I was even watching a subliminal video (5). This isn’t like the crash diets I’ve been on and its not pills.

In keeping the food diary, I am able to keep track of what I’m putting in my body (when you fist start, you may be shocked) (6). I started my changes gradually and in a way that I didn’t feel deprived. The changes I have made so far are

  • Drink water at least a half hr before food (7).
  • More whole unprocessed foods like vegetables and whole grains like brown rice and rye bread.
  • I added beans and salad to at least one meal a day.
  • And the real hard part – I cut down on my drinking beer and my meat (didn’t eliminate just cut down).

As I implemented these changes, I found my tastes have changed as well as my waistline from 46 to 44. I now only feel deprived if I miss my daily salad.

I have lost about ten ponds, in a sustainable way (300 lbs to 286 lbs in 5 months). I no-longer fear going back to the way I was.

I am building a ‘new me’.”

(1) How to enjoy quality sleep and conquer Inso

mnia PDF
How to enjoy quality sleep and conquer Insomnia Webpage
Relief from Insomnia – Success stories
(2) His first feedback on Insomnia and Stress
(3) Seminars and Classes
(4) His diet ‘before’ did not contain any significant vegetables, fruits or whole grains. Daily calorie count was above 3000 calories. He was drinking 20 measures of beer a week.
His ‘after’  classes  diet has regular salad, fruits, whole grains and beans. Beer cut down to 3 measures a week.  Daily calorie count gradually came down to around 14oo. He is steadily losing weight, coming down from 300 lbs to 286 in 5 months. Waist girth came down from 46 inches to 44. Best part is he developed taste for the healthier diet items and confident of keeping it up.
(5) I shared with him the free Subliminal video referred by another a person who came to my seminar and became a practitioner.
(6) I opened one google spread sheet for one week and shared with him. It is pre formatted so he can just post items and calories consumed through the day and instantly see the calorie count, daily and weekly. Just seeing the calorie count tremendously motivated him to control high calorie foods and empty calorie items like  like beer. I have been suggesting small changes periodically and motivating him to sustain the changes during the classes and on-line.
(7) Drinking water right quantity at the right time<
(8) How can I ‘focus on breathing’? 
(9) His previous reports
Relief from Depression, Addictions, Anger and Disturbing thoughts
Anger, Anxiety and Disturbed thoughts relieved
I cut back my mental health medicines
Insomnia and stress relieved

If you like this page share it with your friends.

* Incredible difference in my life

E-mail from Shelli (not her real name), a participant in my  seminar held for a spiritual group in 2012 (1). She responded to my Annual Update – 2014 (2) with this message. 

“I met you one of your seminars in 2012. I use your breathing exercises constantly (3). It has made an incredible difference in my life !!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!! “ 

I was thrilled to get this unbelievable comment and requested her to offer more details to inspire visitors to this website. She was kind enough to share these wonderful experiences.

“I use groups of 3 breaths, aloud upon breathing out, in all different combinations, depending on what I am doing, and where I am, and for how long.

When I am driving, I have to be careful to take breaks from doing it on long drives, as it leads me into meditation which makes it hard to stay focused on driving. The more I use this breathing practice, the more quickly and more deeply I am able to travel into meditative trance. (4)

I also use this in times of the need for more patience, for more empathy, for more understanding, to stem anger and any frustrations arising from situations, – basically, to regain my objectivity. (5)

I also use it during exercise–walking, cross country skiing, and kayaking. It increases my stamina and is calming during exertion. (6)

I’m not sure how well I am able to articulate how this simple breathing technique has changed my life. It has affected every aspect of my life, by changing me inside – both physiologically and metaphysically. I’m sure the chemical properties of breathing properly enhance better health and I feel wonderful. In conjunction with my spiritual readings and other practices, it is enabling my spirit journey. I feel much more in touch with my soul.” (7)

(1) About my seminars and classes
(2) Annual Update – 2014
(3) How can I focus on breathing
(4) How to drive like a Buddha?
(5) Relief from Anger – Success stories
(6) Walking and ‘focusing on breathing’

If you like this page share it with your friends. 

@ 9th Grader with ADHD improves

Prakash (not his real name), a 9th grader with ADHD attended 8 of my classes over 5 months (1) . He has been attending special classes at school. His class performance was reported to be very good. His mom was averse to medication and wanted to try ‘focusing on breathing’ and related techniques to help improve his symptoms (2). He is my first client with ADHD. 

Prakash, his mom and younger brother in 6th grade jointly attended first 5 classes. Then he continued with solo classes.

What were his problems?
Anxiety, Anger, Impatience, Stress, Lack of focus, Nervousness, Frustration, Uncontrolled laughter and Lack of eye contact.

What modes did he practice?
First I introduced the regular modes of ‘focusing on breathing’. He liked them but the restless movement of his body and uncontrolled laughter ware not showing much reduction. On a hunch, I introduced the ‘Dynamic modes of ”focusing on breathing’ as an experiment (3). He liked these techniques a lot and practiced them on his own with very little prompting from his mom.

When did he practice?
Bedtime, Waking up, waiting, Stressed, Walking, Tired

His mom’s assessment of his improvements.

Anxiety: Reduced by 60%

Impatience: Reduced by 50%

Focus: Improved by 70%

His younger brother in 6th grade wrote his own impressions with the permission of his mother during the evaluation session.  

Anxiety: Decreased a little   

Patience
Before: He couldn’t wait
Now: He entertains himself doing the 911 mode and enjoys it.

Focus
Before: He couldn’t make eye contact. His head always faced the window.
Now: This is slowly decreasing.

Frustration
Before: When he was mad, he was yelling and out of control.
Now: This is slowly decreasing.

He does some chanting/ prayers taught to him by his grandma. He has been taking 1000 mg of EPA+DHA per day in the form of Fish oil on my suggestion.

I added waking up  routine and simple stretching and moving based on Yoga to his daily routines (4).

(1) ADHD – Page from National Institute of Mental Health 
(2) How can I focus on breathing?
(3) Dynamic modes
(4) Waking up routine    Loosening exercises – Yoga

Updates:
Feb 9, 2014: His mom said that in he recent PTA meeting with Prakash’s maths teacher, she said his focus improved and he could be put in regular class instead of the special class next year.

April 19, 2014: During the class 2 weeks back, his mom said his behavior was sometimes out of control at home. He was in the habit of pinching her and his younger brother and apologizing soon after. But he did nothing of that kind at school or outside. I told her privately his out of home behavior showed he had enough self awareness and self control with other people. I advised her that if he pinched her next time she should immediately tell him firmly “I don’t like to be pinched”. She should not get angry or blame him or comment on him at all.

Today when I called her to know how this new response to his pinching was working she said it had drastically reduced and she was happy for this improvement.

 If you like this page share it with your friends. 

@ Anger, Anxiety and Disturbed thoughts relieved

Feedback from a young man who attended 2 of my classes after practicing the technique (1) on his own, using my handouts (2) for about 9 months. 

He reported improvement on a host of mental, physical and relationship issues. Also a dramatic reduction in the following concerns that he experienced before practicing the techniques. His previous reports are at (3).

  • Anger: Relieved by 80%
  • Anxiety and Stress: Relieved by 70%
  • Disturbing thoughts and feelings: Relieved by 95%

Before: “Something very bad happen every day.”

Now: “So much less. Most situations, I can handle and working on the ones I have problems with.” 

For the first time in many years, he is now thinking of a career plan for which he had no inclination due to his depression, anxiety and stress.

(1) How can I focus on breathing?
Waking up routine
(2) Documents for download
(3) Insomnia and stress relieved
Cutting down mental health medicines

If you like this page share it with your friends.