For nearly four years from beginning of my meditation practice, a few negative thoughts or images from my past experiences appeared repeatedly and made me feel bad. Some of them were feelings of guilt for what I felt were the wrong actions I did to others. After suffering from these experiences for a long time, I used the knowledge gained from some books (specially by Wayne W Dyer). I silently asked for pardon from those people. Sometimes I prayed to God to pardon me for my wrong actions. By seeking these silent pardons repeatedly during deep meditation, such thoughts or feelings of guilt gradually became lesser and recently disappeared permanently. Remarkably, the stubborn pain in my right shoulder persisting form many years has come under control only after I adopted this ‘silently seeking forgiveness’ process.
Similar was the case with thoughts of anger or hatred, towards some people for their actions or words that hurt my feelings. I pardoned them silently by name, repeatedly. These have also become negligible. Several insights described in my articles also helped me a lot in weakening and eliminating the repetitive poisonous thoughts and feelings (1).
Now, it is rare to get a negative thought or feeling about others or myself. Even when one such thought appears, a counter thought appears immediately on it’s own and neutralizes the poisonous thought. This has been happening automatically.
Now I am focusing on the silent working of my mind. Whenever I see somebody looking unusual in color, face or body, a feeling of repulsion comes to my mind and a negative thought arises. I am trying consistently to question myself for passing such silent judgments on people. What do I know about that person? If I do not know anything, how am I justified in passing any silent comment? Let me be neutral and hold off any comment. Let me illustrate with an example. I am driving in a single lane in my direction and can’t go past the slow running car ahead of me. I feel irritated and a silent comments arise. What a slowpoke is that person, delaying every one behind! Does that person know how we are all getting delayed? Why can’t that person drive faster? I counter such thoughts by silently asking counter questions. Do I at least know if that driver is a man or a woman? Do I know his or her age? It may be an older person driving cautiously saving self and others. Do I know anything about the driver’s health condition? Why should every one ahead of me drive at my usual speed? A few such counter questions expose my spontaneous stupid thinking and neutralize the critical comments. I then conclude that I can not blame any one, for my slight delay in reaching my destination. This counter questioning has become a regular practice and the judgmental thoughts are becoming lesser, reducing my stress.
(1) My articles
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