Archive for » January, 2016 «

+ Emotional abuse by mother relieved

Kaitlin (name changed) aged around 60, a single software Engineer, attended 6 of my classes. She was emotionally abused by her mom for more than 47 years. And it continued even when her mother was 80+ and dependent on her help for daily living. Kaitlin attended therapy but it did not help her get over this root cause of her stress. The following changes were reported by her during the classes. 

Before the classes 
  • Emotionally abused by mom ever since she turned 13. Mom used to fill her plate with food and force her to empty it. When she emptied it, she would fill it again. She gained weight. Then mom taunted her for being fat. She was always criticizing and controlling.
  • Mother’s taunts: She agitatedly spoke about her distress from her mother’s taunting words. She did not know how to handle her.
  • Insomnia: Not able to sleep without TV. Leaving TV on, reading, difficulty falling asleep, waking up 2 to 3 times, Not able to get back to sleep.
  • Anxiety in the morning about the work.
  • Eating unhealthy
  • Diabetic – 10 years
  • Stress at work – Losing patience.
  • Anger
  • Obesity
  • Stress about job relocation.
  • Diet: Comfort foods like candies,cookies, overeating throughout the day.
  • No physical exercise.
  • Brother’s behavior was a big source of stress. Felt helpless against his cheating and irresponsible behavior.
Her ‘Focusing on breathing’ Practices and more 
  • Tip mode (1)
  • Segment mode (1)
  • Counting mode (1)
  • Waking up (2)
  • Driving (3)
  • I repeatedly introduced the concepts of my articles on ‘Relationships’ and discussed them during the classes to help her internalize them and use them in her interactions with her mother (4).
  • Mother’s abusive behavior: From the fourth class onwards, she did not speak a word about her mom. Instead she started focusing on her own goals like her obesity, stress at work etc.
  • Episodes of anger at work less by 70%. “If someone upsets me I let it pass. Only one episode in the last 3 weeks. Anger less by 70%.”
  • Anxiety about relocation of job is less by 70%. “I put things  out of my mind.”
  • Focus – Better
  • Patience – better
  • More relaxed
  • Overeating at night.
  • Not procrastinating.
  • Confidence improved. 
  • Assertiveness improved.
  • In general more active.
  • Accomplishing more.
  • Overeating in general: Less by 20%. Cut down on cookies and candies.
  • Practicing Yoga nidra.
  • Exercise: Started again after one year, on weekends. Stationary bike 20 min, walking 10 min.
  • Less body stiffness.
  • Doing ‘Albany peace project’ meditation at night.

(1) How can I ‘Focusing on breathing’
(2) Waking up ‘focusing on breathing’
(3) ‘Focusing on breathing’ during driving
(4) My articles – Relationship related

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Annual Update – 2016

Annual Update 2016
with titles of a few remarkable Non-fiction books (1).

Problem:    We don’t have the time to practice well known stress management techniques.

‘Focusing on breathing‘ doesn’t need any time! (2).
I struck gold in ‘Counting breaths’ said a young man.

How to practice?

Falling asleep and Waking up: ‘Focusing on breathing’ calms the mind, relaxes the muscles and induces quality sleep, working like the main dose (3). Practice on waking up, eyes closed (lying meditation), like the booster dose (4). Begin the day feeling great! Make these practices a part of the daily routine. Soon, your stress will be lower.  

Daytime (5): ‘Focus on a few breaths’ – waiting at the red light, standing in a line, walking etc. like the maintenance doses (5). Enjoy improvement in Mind, Body and Relationships.

Meditate (7): Begin meditation ‘focusing on breathing’ for a few minutes, on weekends. The positive experience will motivate you. Regular practice gradually dissolves the roots of chronic stress. Life moves  on a new path.

Select Testimonials of 2015 (8)

Got off depression medication       Overwhelming anxiety relieved      Recurring headaches relieved

Please e-mail your testimonial to be published WITHOUT your name. Share this amazing technique with your family and friend circles.

(1) A few remarkable non-Fiction books
(2) Stress management for the busy generation
     Stress, Causes, Effects  and Solutions
(3) Falling asleep ‘focusing on breathing’
(4) Waking up routine
(5) Daytime practice
(6) Helping Mind, Body and Relationships (A to Z)
Addictions,   ADHD   Anger,   Anxiety,   Fear and Panic attacks,   Attitude,   Compulsive thoughts,   Concentration and focus,   Courage to take decisions,   Dental work,   Depression,  Driving stress,   Face – grim to bright and smiling,   Fatigue,   Grief,   Hypertension,   Infertility treatments – reducing repeated failure of,   Insomnia,   Migraine,   Obesity,   Pains – Chronic,   Pains – acute   Phobias   Pregnancy and childbirth,   Relationships – difficult,   Smoking and Tobacco chewing,   Stress at home or office,   Stuttering (Stammering),   Surgery – before and after   Willpower

(7) All about my Meditation
(8) Testimonials 2015 – 16

Category: Relaxation to Meditation  Comments off

Remarkable Non-Fiction Books – 2015

I learned valuable lessons from these books. The links open reviews. The prices shown are for used books including shipping.

Parenting and Education

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
by Julie Lythcott-Haims $6

How to speak so kids will listen and listen so kids will speak by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish $5. 

How to speak so teens will listen and listen so teens will speak by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish $10.

Teenagers 101 – What a top teacher wishes you knew about helping your kid succeed by Rebecca Deurlein Ed. D $8

The smartest kids in the world – and how they got that way by Amanda Ripley $7

Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life by William Deresiewicz $11

Where you go is not who you will be – An antidote to the college admission mania by Frank Bruni $15


Stressful relationships at home, work and society destroy pleasure in living. Nobody teaches us effective coping skills.

Crucial conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler $11

This and the next book by the same 4 authors are practical guides for fruitful interactions on sensitive topics with people at home, workplace and community. We generally avoid such conversations and confrontations afraid of hurting the relationship. The authors prove it otherwise with real life case studies done in variety of organizations.

Crucial confrontations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler $4

Boundaries by Henry Cloud, John Townsend $4

How not laying down and enforcing boundaries hurts relationships at home, work and all other places.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward and Craig Buck $5

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward $5. I have seen a few lives of people in 30’s to 60’s reclaimed after using the ideas from these books.

Mothers who can’t love – A healing guide for daughters by Susan Forward PhD $13

Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry by Dr. Albert J Bernstein $10

How to spot them and defend yourself when attacked.

Living and Dying

30 Lessons for living by Karl Pillemer Ph.D $5

Remarkable words of wisdom distilled from surveys and interviews with older people in USA (65 to 100+).  

30 Lessons for loving – by Karl Pillemer Ph.D $15

Similar to above, focusing on a happy married life, beginning with selection of a life partner. Useful for all stages of married life. A must read for college students before they begin dating.

The conversation: A revolutionary plan for end-of-life care Angelo Volandes $18 (New Edition 2016) $19


Humans have been hosting trillions of bacteria called the ‘microbiome’ on the skin and gut, beginning from the mouth and ending with the rectum for millions of years. They constitute 90% of the living cells we carry with us, human cells being only 10%. Disturbing the diversity and quantities of the microbiome is causing the civilized society’s diseases like allergies and autoimmune diseases, type 1 diabetes, obesity and may be even autism and other mental disorders.

10% Human by Alanna Collen $17

Missing microbes – How overuse of antibiotics is fueling our modern plagues by Martin J. Blaser $13

Heart disease

Dr. Dean Ornish’s program for reversing heart disease.Dean Ornish MD – The only system scientifically proven to reverse heart disease without drugs or surgery $4

DASH diet for lowering hypertension PDF

If you like any of these books please share with your friends. I would love to receive your comments on them.

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