@ The three guys in the mind ‘Boss guy’, ‘Truth guy’ and ‘Image guy’

E-mail recently received from a client doing my classes:
“I have to be honest with you. When I told you I had gotten a blood test it was a lie. I didn’t get one. I’m not sure why I lied in the first place maybe it is what I had thought you would want to hear or maybe I was just scared to talk about my mental disorder at the time. However that is no excuse for my action. I am truly sorry for what I did but you deserve to know. At least I owe you that. The things you have shown me truly help. I am becoming a better person because of you.

I understand if you do not wish to meet anymore because of this & again I am sorry. Please do not stop what you are doing to help people because of what I have done.”

My response:
“I greatly appreciate your honesty and courage in confessing your lapse. What you lied about was your own personal matter, not affecting anyone else. That day you spoke in a manner you felt comfortable. Many of us do this. But all of us may not have the courage to confess, like you have shown. You had enough trust in me to confess. I consider myself privileged for earning that trust. Let us try to understand this incident in the broad human perspective.

There are three guys working in our minds. One is the ‘Boss guy’ who ultimately decides on the contradictory issues like a judge in a court. Second is the ‘Truth guy’ who cares only about telling the truth, not caring for the consequences.The third is an ‘Image guy’ who only cares about projecting a positive self image, to feel secure and please himself and others. He does not care how he achieves this goal. Often, a clash occurs in our minds between the second and third guys, like the one you have experienced.

The day you lied about the blood test, the ‘Image guy’ took over, suppressed the ‘Truth guy’ and made himself feel secure. After a few days, the ‘Truth guy’ who was feeling snubbed, presented his case strongly before the ‘Boss guy’. Finally the ‘Boss guy’ in you was strong enough to decide the case in favor of the ‘Truth guy’ and silenced the ‘Image guy’. Then you, the Boss guy sent this e-mail. All is well that ends well! I congratulate you for your achievement and hope my explanation above resolves any feeling of guilt you may be carrying in your heart.

Let us get back to business as usual. We learned a lesson. I am happy to be working with a person who has the courage to face the truth and confess to another person. I am looking forward to seeing you at the next class.”

Post script: He resumed the classes and working on his goals. He made appointment with the doctor for his annual physical exam and blood work.

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