* To speak or not to speak? To act or not to act?

We face this dilemma many times, in personal, social and professional lives. Often we get doubts whether we did the right thing or not. Some of these questions can dog us throughout the life.

I found a way out of this morale sapping situation. I ask myself two questions when faced with the situation. First question: Is my mind clear? Am I confused? Do I have the best possible information to take my best possible decision under the circumstances?  If I can’t confidently say “yes” to these questions I better gather more information to clear my mind. If I can say “Yes” confidently, I crossed the first hurdle to a ‘no-regrets’ decision. The second question: Is my heart clean? Am I driven by anger, fear, vengefulness, hatred, greed, deceit or  such negative emotions? If my answer is not a confident “Yes”, I should hold my speech or action. I should wait for my emotions to cool down, for a few seconds, minutes hours or days. I should check again to see if my heart is clean. Once it is found free from such negative emotions, my heart is clean. I am now ready to go ahead because my mind is clear and heart is clean.

I can now speak or act with the conviction that I am saying the best words or doing the right thing. Of course my words and actions should be appropriate and considerate of the persons involved.  What else can a human being do other than one’s best, with a clear mind and a clean heart? What is there for me to regret?  If others feel bad about my words or actions, their minds may not be clear or hearts may not be clean. If so, they have a problem not I. They have to work on their problem. By regretting about how others reacted to my words or actions done with a clear mind and a clean heart, I am fooling my self and not playing my proper role and not helping myself or anyone.

***

  • I told this concept to a woman who was on the point of an emotional break down due to the verbally abusive behavior of her boss who was a health care professional. She was attending my classes. Within two weeks of adopting this strategy and a few more such concepts, she reported tremendous relief. She was no more afraid of her boss.  She now speaks boldly  to him, as she feels ‘Her mind is clear and heart is pure’. I was surprised how effective this concept proved to be for her, having suffered from the abusive behavior of her boss for more than two years.

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